Wanna watch? Hope your imagination is sharp...

If only I had a decent pirated copy of PhotoShop...

If you're a Panthers - or Bolts - fan, you find yourself in the same sinking ship as I. Where to find tonight's divisional matchup, featuring the home debut of the Lightning's newest coach-of-the-week, and the premier of Steven Stamkos on the number-one line? WAXY 790 AM! No disrespect to the capable hands of our radio boyz, but THIS IS A GAME THAT MUST BE TELEVISED.

An absolute travesty that we are forced to watch the Habs at Raleigh. This is supposed to bring new blood to the sport? What about us, eh Gary? You remember, Florida fans: the folks who have sat through your lockouts, rule changes, expansions, and relocations, all the while begging the media to kick us while hanging on for our dear franchises' lives? I speak for Tampa Bay, Sunrise, Orlando...heck, Opa Locka. Why oh why must this ridiculous "exclusivity" clause be foisted upon us? Puck fans in the Sunshine State finally have a game that WE ALL care about and it's ripped away in the name of "promoting" the league in...where? Who is going to be drawn to Montreal-Carolina who isn't an established hockey fan? Looking for stragglers too anebriated after the fourth re-run of White-Tailed Deer Gone Wild to hit the remote? I mean pah-leese. A joke, and a cruel one at that. This is punishment for something. Some days it's not worth being a supporter of this backward, uncaring, damn-the-torpedoes league. Why even waste my time writing this? History has proven the NHL will do anything in it's power to do The Wrong Thing.

Is it too late for me to be a poker fan?