...but paraphrasing Judge Elihu Smails, I "felt I owed it" to you.

We've all gotten these obnoxious spam emails, typically claiming to be some low-level bank rep from Burkina Faso or Mos Eisley...always somewhere in Africa. A long-ago forgotten account has been discovered and requires an American to be the benefactor following the tragic deaths of the principal and his entire family in a fiery plane crash in 2002 (including a CNN link. Nice touch).

$15M, $28M...the inheritance numbers vary, but the method of execution has normally been air disasters.

Every once in a while ya get a good one. Just received this an hour ago, and you have to give the author extra credit for the creativity (grammar and spelling remain unedited):

Abidjan Cote D' Ivoire
West Africa
Dear One

Greeting.

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you.
I am glades kala the only daugther of late Mr and Mrs George kala from the republic of sierra loene. My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant based in Abidjan, the economic capital of Cote D'Ivoire before he was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outing to discuss on a business deal.
When my mother died on the 21st October 1984, my father took me so special because I am motherless. Before the death of my father on 27th June 2005 in a private hospital here in Abidjan. He secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has a sum of $9.500.000 left in a security company here in Cote d'ivoire, that he used my name as her only daugther for the next of kin in deposit of the consignment.

Further more he also explained to me that it was because of this wealth and some huge amount of money his business associates supposed to balance him from the deal they had that he was been poisoned.He then advised that I should seek for a God fearing foreign partner in a country of my choice who will assist me retrieve this consignment and transfer this money and use it for investment purpose, then I would want you to provide your personal contacts including your phone/fax number for easier communication.

I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways.

1) I want you to help me retrieve this money from the security company here and transfer it to your account for onward investment in your country.

And I am willing to proceed with you as soon as I have your response.

Anticipating to hear from you soon.

mis glades kala

2) You are going to be the manager of this fund and also my personal guardian until I finished my studies as I'm just 23 years old.. 3) You are going to procure admission for me to continue my studies in one of the known university in your country. 4) Moreover, I am willing to offer you 25% of the sum as compensation for effort input after the successful retrieve of this consignment from the security company here.

Seems like a boatload of international intrigue for the sum of nine dollars and fifty cents; I'm considering developing this into a screenplay. Sean Avery could star as the ignorant American patsy, simply looking to pay his mortgage and buy milk for his babies before getting dragged into a deepening geo-political banking scandal.

Back to work.