Link: West Coast take on an East Coast threat, or: How they learned to stop worrying and love the rat

From our cross-state buds at the fabulous Raw Charge ("Your Tampa Bay Lightning Colossus", or something):

There's the wise old tomato Ed Jovanovski, who you guys might remember but you don't because you started cheering for the Lightning in 2004. He played for the Panthers way back in the Twentieth Century, before getting traded in a package to Vancouver for Pavel Bure. Since then, "Jovo-Cop," or "Fat Eddy," has become a tough old D-man. Slow. Physical. Leadershippy. He's put in his time playing in Vancouver and Phoenix. Now he's ready for a big-time, serious hockey market. Like in Sunrise.

Editor's note: it's in jest, people. Enjoy the dog-days - and weeks - ahead.